Remembering Lily
by LEAJPEHP
Summary: Sirius and Remus had been able to tell Harry a lot about James, but not much about Lily beyond the fact that she didn't actually hate James. After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry approaches Professor Slughorn to ask him more about the woman who sacrificed her life for him.
1. Hooch

"Professor," Harry began uncertainly.  
Professor Slughorn looked up from his conversation with Seamus and said, "Yes, m'boy?"  
"I was wondering if I might speak to you, er, alone that is," Harry said, trying not to be too rude to Seamus.  
"Yeah, take your time, Harry," Seamus said sincerely. "I'll be around. And by the way Harry, I'm glad you came back."

As Seamus wandered away, probably looking for Dean, Harry took his seat and Professor Slughorn said, "What could I do for you Harry?"  
Harry spoke slowly and deliberately, "I was wondering if you could tell me about my mum. I know she was one of your favorite students, so I thought you might be able to."  
He realized after meeting Remus, Sirius and his parents in the woods before he walked to his death that he did not know nearly enough about his mother. He knew Sirius and Remus in person and they were able to share stories about his father. Sure, they had mentioned his mother here and there, and that they all got along with her and that she was kind and an excellent friend, and how happy she had made his father once she got over hating him, but he couldn't recall a story or a memory that was _about_ her. The most insight he got about her was the time that she almost dueled his father during his look into Snape's memory. He didn't really like to think about that though, because while his mother was an admirable Gryffindor, he didn't particularly enjoy remembering his father being a bully or an "arrogant toe rag" as his mother so simply put it at the time.  
"What do you want to know?" Professor Slughorn asked, looking thoughtful at the request, no doubt fondly remembering one of his favorite students of all time.  
"I realized I don't know much about her at all," Harry admitted, feeling quite lame that he didn't know enough about the woman who gave her life for him.

"Well, I trust you know that she was absolutely brilliant. She was intelligent and kind and a fantastic witch. She aced every exam I ever gave her, and succeeded at any potion I challenged her to brew. You know, had the world not been what it was at the time of graduation, I would have used my connections to get her a job in the Ministry. She would have done great things, and I had even offered to, but she didn't want to pursue it. Really such a shame," Professor Slughorn trailed off.  
"I'd gathered that she was very smart," Harry said, slightly disappointed with what he was hearing. He craved more, more than what Snape had been able to show him. He wanted to hear someone speak about his mum the way Sirius had when he told Harry about the first time James managed to transform into a stag, or the way Remus sounded when he recalled the making of the Marauder's Map, with some type of excitement and intimate knowledge that would let Harry know more about his mother than just her intellectual capacity. He longed for specificity and craved seeing and knowing how she interacted with others beyond the memory he had of her defending Snape. He wanted to know what she did in the corridors between classes, what she did when she wasn't studying, who her friends were. He was blessed to be able to have known two of his dad's best mates, realized he hadn't been afforded that same luxury when it came to his mother, and he felt slightly ashamed and a bit like a brat.

"She was very brave," Slughorn offered, sensing Harry's disappointment with the prior answer. "Probably why I didn't get to have her in my own house if I'm being honest."  
"Can you give me an example?" Harry prodded, getting desperate.  
Slughorn suddenly seemed to understand just how much Harry needed to know about his mother.

"Tell you what Harry, give me a bit, and meet me in the Headmaster's Office in say, two hours? I'll have more answers for you then."

With that, Slughorn heaved himself to his feet and waddled out of the Great Hall, leaving Harry wondering what Slughorn could possibly have in store for him. He wished he didn't have to wait.

He paced anxiously about the parts of the castle that weren't destroyed until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He whirled around, ready to duel but relaxed when he saw it was Ginny. Her hands were up in defense and she pulled Harry into a hug, seeing how completely worked up he was.  
"Hey," she whispered as he tried to slow his breathing. "Take a walk with me."  
She felt him nod against her shoulder and reached for his hand, pulling him along with her.  
"I'm sorry about Fred," Harry managed to get out.  
Ginny inhaled sharply and spoke, "So am I."

They were silent until they arrived in a deserted hallway. Ginny used her wand to clear away some of the dust and put a cushioning charm on the floor before pulling Harry to sit down with her.  
"Are you okay?" she asked.  
He shook his head.  
"What happened in the forest? You can tell me, I promise to listen."  
Harry looked up at her, feeling like a child as he sputtered out the tale of how _he had died_ but it had been okay because he got to see Dumbledore, and Sirius and Remus and his mum and dad. It was easily the most terrifying time of his life, but _it was okay_ because he had somehow survived and he was able to be _here, with her_. Ginny listened in awe, not really sure how Harry was okay with dying, and then Harry looked at her and the emotion with which he spoke gave her the chills.

"I don't know anything about my mum. I've spent so many years dying to know what life I might have had if they had lived, and I spent all this time thinking about my dad, and I never learned anything about her other than she was absolutely, bloody brilliant and that she hated my dad until she didn't."  
"I'm sorry Harry," Ginny breathed.  
Harry continued, "Slughorn said he'd tell me more about her in a little while, and I just can't stand the thought of waiting for this."  
"I know. Well actually I don't. I'm not trying to rub it in or anything, but I know what it was like growing up with a huge family, and I can't even imagine what it would be like to not have that."

Harry didn't have anything to say in response. He just pulled Ginny close to him until he could take the anticipation no longer and pulled himself to standing.  
"I'm going to go find Slughorn."  
"Do you want me to come with you?" Ginny offered. Harry winced, remembering Hermione's similar offer to go with him to meet Voldemort in the woods.  
He shook his head and said, "I think this is something I need to do on my own Gin. Besides, I think you probably want to be with your family right now. Go on, I'll find you later, alright?"  
Ginny nodded in agreement and left in the opposite direction of Harry to go find her grieving family.

Harry found himself walking to what he knew as Dumbledore's office, and he was let up without a password being requested. He found Slughorn collaborating with McGonagall, Hooch, Sprout, and Flitwick.  
"Harry!" Slughorn exclaimed. "Has it been two hours already?"  
"Two and a half actually," Harry said.  
"Well, we're just about done here."  
"Done with what exactly?" Harry asked, confusion evident in his tone.  
"Well, you said you felt that you didn't know your mother, so we've all collected some of our best memories of her, for you to enjoy at your leisure in the Penseive."  
"Oh, wow, that's really wonderful. Thank you, Professor," Harry glanced up at the rest of his teachers. "Thank you all."  
"It was the least we could do, really, Potter," Professor McGonagall. "You deserve to know your parents. We'll leave you to it then. I think Horace agreed to stay, answer any questions our memories might prompt from you."  
Slughorn nodded and settled himself in a chair, allowing Harry to see the impressive collection of memories that his teachers had put together. He figured that Slughorn and McGonagall knew Lily best, so he decided to save those for last, picking up Madame Hooch's memory first.

He dumped it into the Penseive and allowed himself to be immersed in the memory.

"Place your hand over your broom and say 'up!' You must be firm, and confident; the broom can sense if you are uneasy," Madame Hooch's voice called out clearly across the Quidditch pitch. Harry looked around and saw his father and his friends easily mastering this simple skill, and Harry realized that they had probably been able to do this since they were five. He looked around until he spotted fiery red hair and knew he had found his mother, the same girl he recognized from Snape's memories. She was struggling. Harry could hear the question mark in her voice as she commanded the broom to move into her hand. Madame Hooch stopped by her and whispered something in her ear that Harry couldn't quite catch, but whatever she said did work, as the broom zoomed up into Lily's grasp. He smiled at the look on her face, so accomplished and proud of herself for making this small connection with the new, magical world around her.

The scene around him morphed. They remained on the Quidditch pitch, but this time Harry found himself in stands rather than on the ground. He found his mum seated, well standing, jumping and cheering really, next to him. He winced as she screeched, "Yes! Go Marlene!" Harry remembered that name from the picture of the original Order of the Phoenix which Sirius had shown him. He quickly looked onto the pitch and saw a blonde-haired girl, who had to be Marlene, passing the Quaffle to his dad. Harry felt his heart ache, wishing he could have played Quidditch with his dad. He redirected his attention to his mum, who he guessed was in her fourth year at this point. She was dressed muggle, wearing blue jeans and a sweatshirt, standing out fantastically in a sea of cloaks. She had a Gryffindor scarf wrapped about her neck, red and gold paint under her eyes. She cheered loudly and never stopped smiling. Harry felt himself grinning next to her, recognizing the twinkle in her green eyes from the pictures in his photo album from Hagrid.

Yet again, he found himself on a different version of the Quidditch pitch. This time it was dark and likely past curfew. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to be seeing, and he actually heard it first; "Keep up, Evans!"  
Harry whirled around, saw his dad flying up into the air, confident as ever. Harry could tell from the facial hair that his parents were now in their seventh year. He looked around and saw Lily slowly rising from the ground and Harry barked out a laugh, beyond amused at what an absolutely shit flier his mum was. James was patient while Lily worked her way up to where James was levitating. James moved around slowly, giving Lily time to follow up. Though she was clearly out of her comfort zone, Lily was grinning, apparently happy just to be with James. She tried to follow him around the pitch but even at James' agonizingly slow pace she couldn't quite keep up. James eventually flew back to her and led her down to the ground where she abandoned her own broom, which Harry figured must have been a school one. She climbed onto the back of James' broom, hugged him tightly and squealed with laughter as he launched off the ground. Harry watched for a few minutes until they came down, and turned away out of shyness when Lily kissed James, but faced them again when he heard Madame Hooch's voice ring out, "Potter! Evans! What are you two doing out here in the middle of the night?! It is far past curfew! Potter, I daresay I expect this of you, but Evans, what were you thinking?"  
Lily looked ashamed of herself as she separated form James, who couldn't stop smiling.  
"I'm sorry Madame Hooch," Lily apologized, looking down at the ground.  
"Well, I should hope so Miss Evans. It looks like Mr. Potter is becoming quite the bad influence."  
"I would say he's always been," Lily admitted.  
Madame Hooch softened a bit and laughed, "You're right, you couldn't have been expected to remain unaffected by this for a full seven years. Twenty points from Gryffindor, but no detention if you get off my pitch in the next fifteen seconds."  
James doubled back for the brooms while Lily sprinted like mad, leaving James in the dust. Harry could hear them playfully bickering, James in disbelief that Lily would abandon him and Lily mortified that they got caught kissing by a teacher.

Harry pulled out of the Penseive, anxious to see what other memories his teachers had for him.


	2. Sprout

Harry pulled out of the Pensieve at the conclusion of Madame Hooch's last memory. He found himself laughing and saw Slughorn smiling at him.  
"What'd you see m'boy?" he asked.  
"I was in Madame Hooch's memory. I saw my mum learning to fly. She was actually pretty bad, if I'm being honest."  
Slughorn chuckled, "Yes, flying seemed to be one of the few areas of the magical world that your mother couldn't quite master. You evidently inherited that from James."

"And I can't believe that she would ever sneak out," Harry continued excitedly. "The way Sirius and Lupin talked about her, I knew they liked her, but they never let on that she broke the rules."  
Slughorn chuckled, "She didn't make it a regular occurrence and it certainly didn't happen at all until she started going out with James."  
"And she was so spirited. I didn't think a Quidditch match would have been her cup of tea."  
"I told you, she was a Gryffindor, through and through. Really a pity that she didn't sort Slytherin. I could have used some of that bright, kind, proud spirit in my own house."  
Harry said, "I don't mean to argue, Professor, but wouldn't you say that Slytherins are proud enough of their blood?"  
Slughorn quieted down before he almost shamefully admitted, "Perhaps you're right there Harry. They may have had enough pride, but it was different from your mother's. Lily's came with a sense of enthusiasm and sheer joy, not a sense of elevated class status the way some members of Slytherin house may present. It was admirable, and I wish I could have had someone like that to represent Slytherin. Perhaps then, it made sense that she was sorted into Gryffindor." 

Harry nodded, grasping the vial which contained Professor Sprout's memories. He entered the Pensieve and found himself in Greenhouse 2. His mother looked a bit older than she had at her sorting, not quite as old as at the Quidditch match. Harry gathered she was a second year at this point, and his suspicions were confirmed when Professor Sprout rolled in a cart of immature Mandrakes. He recognized the lesson from his second year, and chuckled to himself as he recalled Neville's fainting episode. He watched closely as the students began repotting the Mandrakes, and he noticed that while the other students covered their ears, hastily and brutishly moved their Mandrakes to larger pots his mother was gentler, and she even appeared to be _smiling_ as she moved the shrieking Mandrakes about. The other students left as soon as they did their required four Mandrakes, which still left Professor Sprout with about twenty to repot herself. Professor Sprout got Lily's attention as she began repotting her sixth Mandrake, and after the plant's screech was safely muffled by soil, the two removed their ear muffs.  
"Miss Evans, you're free to join the rest of your classmates. I am fine to finish these by myself."  
Lily looked thoughtful and asked, "Would it be alright if I helped? I'm just really enjoying this and I would like more practice."  
"Do you have another class dear?"  
"No, this is my last class until after lunch."  
"Alright, pot away Miss Evans," Professor Sprout said cheerfully, clapping Lily on the back before the pair replaced their ear muffs until the remaining Mandrakes had been successfully potted.

In an instant, they were in Greenhouse 3, Lily looked fourteen, and Harry could tell she was mad. He decided it didn't suit her and liked it much better when she was smiling. Harry quickly realized why she was so unhappy, and realized he heard his father's voice calling across the greenhouse. Harry felt divided; he was upset that his mother wasn't the happy girl he had seen in previous memories, but he loved seeing his father. He turned his head back and forth between the two, determined to take in as much as each of them as possible.

Lily's head snapped up at James' voice and she stared at him, unimpressed and obviously waiting for him to continue. Harry gathered this was a regular occurrence. The way Lily reacted looked practiced, tired, and appeared to be muscle memory. Her mouth curved into a scowl, her eyes hardened and narrowed, and she set her gloved hands on the workbench and waited.

James glanced up and down at Lily, obviously his rehearsed response to Lily and continued, "So, Evans."  
"Potter."  
"I heard that you and Robertson broke up."  
"And you thought that was your business, did you?" Lily replied without skipping a beat.  
"I mean, he's on the Quidditch team. It was bound to come up sometime," James grinned. "Since you're a free agent now Evans, how about it? Go to Hogsmeade with me?"  
Lily snorted, made sure Sprout was looking, and flipped James off.  
James clutched his heart dramatically and said, "You break my heart more and more each day. That you do. One day Evans."  
Lily rolled her eyes, signaling that she was done with the conversation. Harry wasn't even sure it could qualify as a conversation the more he thought about it.

Harry couldn't help but watch as James horsed around with Sirius before Professor Sprout demanded they calm down. As James started walking backwards away from Sirius, taunting him about his skills as a beater Harry turned his attention back to Lily and he was glad he did because he saw her pick up her wand and whisper an incantation which sent a bag of soil falling away from a wall and into James' path. James didn't see it, too distracted with taking the mickey out of Sirius and promptly tripped over the bag, finding himself covered in soil. Thinking to himself that his father got what he deserved, Harry turned his attention back to Lily and saw her giggling with Marlene and another girl, one with short hair who Harry couldn't place immediately. Again, he thought back to the picture of the original Order and realized this was Neville's mum, Alice. He watched Lily laugh with her friends and found himself enjoying it.

He listened and heard Marlene say, "Honestly, good for you Lily. He's a git and he deserves to be put back in line every once in a while."  
"If not more often," Lily chortled.  
Alice chimed in, "It's pretty funny, but you're lucky you don't get caught."  
"It would be worth the detention," Lily said flippantly.  
Alice didn't believe the façade for a second and laughed, "As if! Lily, you have never gotten a detention and I doubt you would even be able to handle it."  
Lily tried to deny the accusation but with Marlene and Alice teasing her, she broke, "Fine! I wouldn't be able to handle it, but that's why I didn't get caught." The end of the sentence was triumphant, until Lily felt Professor Sprout's hand on her shoulder.  
Harry could see her freeze at the touch, saw her eyes widen with fear before she turned to face her teacher.  
Sprout whispered, "You did get caught though, Miss Evans. Although, I will say, I could perhaps turn a blind eye, given the circumstances of this outburst. Don't let me see you spilling my supplies again or I'll have you sweeping this greenhouse without magic."  
Lily flushed a bright red, horrified that she'd been caught. Sprout walked away, merry as ever, leaving Alice and Marlene to roar with laughter at Lily's apparent petrification.


End file.
